New Beginnings and Lessons

In life, we are given many chances to decide what we want and to work for it. We are also given opportunities to learn what we don't want. As I said to a friend recently, and I don't take credit for this line, "Everything and everyone is a blessing or a lesson." The things that happen to us that are good are obviously ones that are noted as positive ones, but sometimes we lack actually being able to see what the negative ones mean. They're lessons! The lesson might not come right away, because you might experience some pain from whatever occurred, but in the end you'll realize you've learned and grown because of it. Maybe you're not quite ready to thank life for throwing you those curve balls, but hopefully at some point you will be, because they really actually become blessings in a way.

Actually, that last sentence aka my latest revelation just blew my mind. Even people or things that you consider lessons (negative to start, but finding the gold in situations) eventually are blessings, because of the way they turn you into the person you are. You can always choose (after a decent amount of healing time) how things will affect you. Either you can become bitter and hold grudges, or you can learn from things and let them take you down a new, more positive road.

I'm ready for the ride that is life, with no more allowances for negative things and people in my life. And if they do slip in? Well, I'm ready for those lessons/blessings, too.

Things I Ponder - Getting Older

Last Tuesday was my birthday and I started to think about age related things, and how getting older affects us all. Everyone has their own way of celebrating or "dealing with" their birthdays, (depending on how old they are turning) but most of all, we all notice the emotional and mental changes we experience as we get older. There's this internal drive or push to do certain things and be accomplished in different areas that clicks in as we reach certain milestones in our years.

Sometimes I start to wonder if we're restricted or enhanced by being so obsessed with age and each anniversary that we reach (whether we like it or not). Everything seems to be so date conscious; we base so many decisions and pass judgement on age. Another question would be is if these decisions and judgement are justified? Are we qualified to pass a judgement on someone and decide if they are worthy or unworthy of something simply based on how old they are?

We have these goals that almost seem like limitations: go to college and get a degree, get a fantastic, well-paying job by this age, fall in love by that age, be married by this age, have kids by that age, etc. The list seems endless. We have to accomplish all these certain things at these certain times and people judge us based on whether or not we have reached these goals at the right time.

If we reach our goals too soon, we can be judged for that too. One who has done this or that at an age perceived as "too young" is said to have "grown up too fast" or even been corrupted. Many laws are also based on age, such as when one can drive, live on their own, serve their country, buy and smoke cigarettes, buy and consume alcohol, among many others.

It came down to this intriguing question for me:

Would we be better off without these age limits and goals; would we get along better without them or would we fail miserably?

More on this later. Feel free to comment...I'd love to know what others think about this and how you would answer the question!

Flames

Why don't I miss you

When you're so far away

The lies come out so fluently

I'm barely keeping up

I swear I'm not pretending

Shivering as you linger

Fingertips gliding

My world keeps on sliding

Inside out, upside down

How you manage to get me all turned around

Sweaty collisions

Careful incisions

Definitely nothing to do with booze

I promise this wasn't a ruse

And my bed is this constant reminder

As if this all wasn't hard enough

Pretending I don't give a fuck

Nothing ever seemed so difficult as this

Acting like nothing ever mattered

And you're certainly not shattered

Cliche statements resounding

This is apparently what I'm supposed to do

But I know that booze and boys

Won't get you out of my mind

Tick Tock

A stolen kiss

Rippling

Lips upturned

Giggling

My heart unburdened

And as I breathe

The clock stops

My heart throbs

Unbelievably romantic

All of these go*damn semantics

This fire inside consumes me

I have no time for this

Any methods of escape

I promise this I won't regret

Despite the unacceptable behavior

Promise you won't console me

I'd rather breathe on my own

Conspicuously bright

I swear I'll be alright

Knowing how to get back up

Prefer to see it all

Than to pretend I'm blind

I'd rather communicate

Without any words

Than to constantly just talk

The hell with average

I'd like to see it all

Every part of life

Intriguing and deceiving

I promise I'll survive

Oh Internet

I don't really know who's reading my blog regularly and if any of them are my real-life friends or just browsers of the internet, but if you're my Facebook friend, you've likely noticed my hiatus. This post is not directly related to that, but I thought I'd mention it.

I don't really believe in complaining about something like social media websites that you can just delete or quit at any moment, but one thing that really does bother me is the "people you may know" section. Normally, I just ignore it. If I want to add someone, I look for them, and if someone wants to find me, they search me and send me a request. I don't really ever remember adding someone from that section.

The real point, however, is that there was someone in the "people you may know" section who I really would be okay with never hearing about or seeing for the rest of my life. I never realized how triggering it could be to see someone so vile and evil (hey, look at that! the same 4 letters rearranged!), not only suggested to be added to my friends list, but also to see the fact that we have 14 friends in common...

No thank you. I would not like to be friends with that person, but thanks for ruining my day, Facebook! Lots of love to you, too! HA.

The Stranger and The Transition

This is something that I wrote about the transition which exists between any two people who enter a relationship and end it, for whatever reasons, at whatever time. It's an odd phenomena and my friend and I had a conversation about it which gave me some insight and an ability to put the phenomena in actual words.

From strangers to more to strangers again~~

*****************************

Two people who start out as nothing

Basically strangers

You could practically see each other on the street

And have only a flickering, or a glimpse of recognition

No memories or associations

Nothing to tie one to the other

Nothing to smile about or think about as you fall asleep

Then you become friends; someone to talk to and converse

Chatting, sharing thoughts and ideas

Laughing platonically

And so quickly you become more

The transition happens so fast

Sometimes the line blurs and you hardly notice

A happy haze

Suddenly you're lovers

Two people on the same wavelength

The most beautiful thing

At the right time or at the wrong time

Intimacies beyond just "close"

And then suddenly or maybe not so sudden

You're strangers again

But this time it's different than before

No longer can one say "You’re unrecognizable"

Because your breath may hitch in your throat

At the sight of their face

Someone who changed you

Or just impacted you

In one way or a thousand

Things are significant now

Memories loom in the air

And now you're familiar strangers

No longer able to pass them by like they don't exist

Whimsical Notions - Insouciance and the Like

People get way too serious about things and sometimes really quickly. A lot of people, men especially it seems, tend to be afraid or hesitant about getting into relationships because they either A) had an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend who was incredibly significant and serious about everything, making the relationship heavy; or B) they have friends who are way too serious about relationships and scare them off with the stories they like to share.

When I say insouciance, I don't mean to be flippant about your relationship or uncaring. Just... light. Enjoy, grow, progress, learn, and have fun. Be happy. When you're in a relationship with someone who you have a connection with - someone who you can really be with - the rest is easy to work out.

Life is very fleeting sometimes. Yes of course, most people live a very long time, die natural deaths, and have accomplished much. But there's many quotes which I like to think I apply to my life and take into account in the way I handle things and make me be less careful and less serious.(This is not just meant to be taken about relationships, of course.)

Here's a quote I like a lot:

"Suddenly, you realize tomorrow might not come. Now I live by the motto, ‘Today is what I have.’”

- Amber Heard

Love openly and fully and enjoy everything you do and everyone you experience and have the pleasure of meeting and having in your life. Be cautious, but don't be too careful. You could die at any moment and I hope that you will live your life to the extent that you would be happy with what you have experienced, and who you have loved, and not have many things you wish you did or said when you go.

If you love someone - if you want to do something - if you're scared - go for it!!! :-)

The Switch

If it existed, I'd probably flip it off and leave it there for a while

Content with the silence

Passionately still and unfeeling

I swear in my head it all made sense

Eighteen and a light shade of jade

But I don't quite disbelieve

If we could just look up and see things for what they were

And let them disappear

Jotting down your thoughts like a form of therapy

Writing all over the sky like it will get you by

Pretending is your favorite art

Because if you felt what you faked

You'd be experiencing something real

Instead of wishing you could feel

My Thoughts on "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley

I personally believe that the primary theme of Brave New World is control and the use of control for the purpose of degradation and destruction of social values. Humans aren’t born to parents and do not have families, instead they are grown in bottles and brainwashed, a.k.a conditioned, in order to ensure that they believe certain “truths”, or to have certain moral “values”. This is done by way of “sleep-teaching”, and instructs these humans to not value their individualism, but the value of a society.

Every person exists to have a job and love it, to purchase lots of things like clothing, use transportation often, depend on other people and things, and serve their community. Humans are divided into social classes to make this system work more efficiently, from the Alphas at the top, to the Epsilons at the bottom. Alphas are smart and handsome, while Epsilons are ugly and stupid. They even go as far as using oxygen deprivation and lethal substances to ensure that non-Alphas stay stupid—while they grow them in the test tubes. All Epsilons are exact replicas of each other, grown in large batches.

Everything, even the apparently positive ways of life, is a way to control and take away identity and personal values from these “individuals”. The rampant promiscuity and lack of romance or relationships, wherein they actually insult or make fun of one for “having” the same partner for an extended period of time, and even refer to mating as such: “having” another person. A specific example of this is a conversation between Lenina and Fanny, where Lenina tells Fanny, “Somehow, I hadn’t been feeling very keen on promiscuity lately. There are times when one doesn’t. Haven’t you found that too, Fanny?” Fanny replies, “But one’s got to make the effort, one’s got to play the game. After all, every one belongs to every one else.” There is no procreation through sex, as contraceptives are forced upon one. No one is allowed to make a significant choice for themselves. Additionally, the frequent use of drugs, flippant attitudes towards life, and narrow-minded views all are signs of the control that is had over these people.

The drug called “soma” is used as an escape from problems. It is not only legal, but given out eagerly and encouraged to be taken for any reason. They don’t particularly need an excuse (as you might in the real world, to use drugs or alcohol to get away from your problems) to use soma, they just encourage each other to take it at any low moment. An example of this is as follows, where Marx is very upset and speaking with Henry Foster, who says “What you need is a gramme of soma,” and when he refuses, Foster insists that he takes it, saying, “Take a holiday from reality whenever you like, and come back without so much as a headache or a mythology.”

For me, the setting of the book was eerie and disturbing, which I believe was the mood Huxley was trying to create. When I first started reading the book, I wasn’t moved at all, but as I continued, a sense of fear and even a loss of hope for the world were instilled in me. The picture he painted many years ago when he wrote the book is not unlike what the world is slowly becoming. Science and cloning aside, there are a lot of general aspects to the way that the people live their lives in Brave New World that could be looming in our future if we do not change our ways as well as break free from the insane control the government tries to have or has over us as a country. The lack of diversity, individuality, love, monogamy, and ability to think for one’s self depicted in this book is not an unreal fantasy from our culture and society in present time.