November Blues

I'm a sucker for the broken
The bruised is like a potion
Corrupted by the pain
An illusion  of a gain

The need to fix is my next fix
Words hurting "just for kicks"
Simply leaving never works
Guarantee it always hurts

Words like poison on your tongue
Love songs always gone unsung
Never what you want to hear
Reuse to shed one fucking tear

Waiting is like a slow death
Sucking out your soul till nothing's left
A curse you always can predict
Seeming to be on the hunt for conflict

Everyone said Poets had it Easy

If you let it, some poetry will kill you from the inside out. Before you even realize or have a chance to stop it, it'll turn your heart into stone while cutting off your brains control and access to your tear ducts and you'll be a heartless, crying mess. Poetry is like a hard drug you can't quit, always looking for the next fix. Even though you know it's terrible for you and going to ruin you, you'll search for it everywhere, hastily and obsessively, like the worst kind of addict. It will make a mess of you and you will make a mess of it, looking like a drunk stumbling out of a bar at 2am. Closing time, there's no room in here for love. 

I Won't Break Down

You saved me just to break me
You made me just to leave
You found me and you lost me

The pain it comes in waves
Swimming in it
I don't feel anything anymore
My walls are closing in

Down I go, up I fall
Flailing, drowning
Can't hold on
Not at all

L&C

Quiet minds & secret lives
"Facts" that sound just like lies
Back and forth as it goes
Flippant like the wind blows

"Casual" tears become runaways
Can't help but feeling played
System overloaded with shock
Feeling like you just got clocked

A punch to the gut
At least you're out of the rut
Happiness too much to handle?
Making your life into a scandal

So dizzy and lost
Distancing at what cost
Your words are heavy
Like my heart you levied

No Regrets

When does this get easier; I need all the help that I can get
Forgetting you is a task within itself that I will soon regret
I promise in the end it'll all be worth the risk and pain
but the time it takes to get there is taking the fight out of me

I can't sleep, my eyes get heavy but they just won't close
The end is near, but exactly where, nobody knows
Overwhelming pressure to be like everyone else
It's as if our own identities have up and disappeared

Such sinister statements spoken in tongues
Your look upon me squeezing the breath out of my lungs
Crying out is pointless; it's as if I'm in a soundproof box
Just run away, far away, and never plan to return

Second Chance

So talking is a waste of time

Another chance for another line

Just one more opportunity to lie

Promises that will never be obliged

Complications that never arise

Alibis that she always buys

Listening to stories that never end

Something I would learn to apprehend

We all wait for the apology we'll never hear

So much easier just to disappear

I'd do it all over if I had the chance

Never looked back or took that second glance

Hiding

We hide tears with scarlet paint

Pretending just to save face

It's gone like the wind

And everything feels displaced

Forever loses its meaning

Facades are like new cars

Mismanaged habits

You hone your skills in bars

Overlapping feelings

Climbing up the walls

Trying to learn new tricks

While attempting not to fall

Repeating words we hear on tv

You see relationships as threats

Forgetting we're heartless

Sometimes I forget to forget

2

Atypical behavior

Expecting a savior

Easily disappointed

Quickly disjointed

Rapid replies

Simple demise

Shallow breathing

Forever grieving

Intensely ashamed

Incorrectly blamed

Sorrowful glances

Empty romances

Jagged edges

Broken ledges

Foreign tongues

Empty lungs

Freezing

So fake, so cold

How bleak, how bold

Foreign languages we spoke

All the promises you broke

Every lie recited

And each cell ignited

Your lingering gaze

The always burning blaze

My never ending trek

To avoid an inevitable wreck

So oblivious; eyes closed

How hilarious; so composed

Indescribable

On the outside

There's a smile

Nothing to hide

At least for a while

It's easy to act nonchalant

Sure you're just fine

What is it we truly want

Alone, waiting for things to align

Because now the truth is clear

We're all searching for something real

Someone to protect us from what we fear

A place we don't have to pretend not to feel

Casually we breathe

Searching far and wide

Inside we secretly seethe

Wishing we had never lied

While it's me you haunt

I'm listening to the perfect cadence

More than simply what I want

Perfectly imperfect and shameless

Free

I could walk for hours just because

And sometimes the freeway off ramp

Appeals to me for some midnight walking

But something tells me that the late-night patrol officers

Would possibly consider that a suicide attempt

"But officers," I'd say, "I'm a happy girl"

Got a whole lot going for me

A big world to see

My whole life ahead of me"

"Dear girl," they'd say, "it's never the sad ones."

And we'd share this sad moment together

Not quite sure of what else there was to say

Because I knew they were right

Truth is, I'd never even consider that idea

It was just that walking against traffic was always this taboo

And in the moment, in the moonlit midnight of my neighborhood

I just wanted to see what it felt like to be free

Flames

Why don't I miss you

When you're so far away

The lies come out so fluently

I'm barely keeping up

I swear I'm not pretending

Shivering as you linger

Fingertips gliding

My world keeps on sliding

Inside out, upside down

How you manage to get me all turned around

Sweaty collisions

Careful incisions

Definitely nothing to do with booze

I promise this wasn't a ruse

And my bed is this constant reminder

As if this all wasn't hard enough

Pretending I don't give a fuck

Nothing ever seemed so difficult as this

Acting like nothing ever mattered

And you're certainly not shattered

Cliche statements resounding

This is apparently what I'm supposed to do

But I know that booze and boys

Won't get you out of my mind

Tick Tock

A stolen kiss

Rippling

Lips upturned

Giggling

My heart unburdened

And as I breathe

The clock stops

My heart throbs

Unbelievably romantic

All of these go*damn semantics

This fire inside consumes me

I have no time for this

Any methods of escape

I promise this I won't regret

Despite the unacceptable behavior

Promise you won't console me

I'd rather breathe on my own

Conspicuously bright

I swear I'll be alright

Knowing how to get back up

Prefer to see it all

Than to pretend I'm blind

I'd rather communicate

Without any words

Than to constantly just talk

The hell with average

I'd like to see it all

Every part of life

Intriguing and deceiving

I promise I'll survive