New Beginnings and Lessons

In life, we are given many chances to decide what we want and to work for it. We are also given opportunities to learn what we don't want. As I said to a friend recently, and I don't take credit for this line, "Everything and everyone is a blessing or a lesson." The things that happen to us that are good are obviously ones that are noted as positive ones, but sometimes we lack actually being able to see what the negative ones mean. They're lessons! The lesson might not come right away, because you might experience some pain from whatever occurred, but in the end you'll realize you've learned and grown because of it. Maybe you're not quite ready to thank life for throwing you those curve balls, but hopefully at some point you will be, because they really actually become blessings in a way.

Actually, that last sentence aka my latest revelation just blew my mind. Even people or things that you consider lessons (negative to start, but finding the gold in situations) eventually are blessings, because of the way they turn you into the person you are. You can always choose (after a decent amount of healing time) how things will affect you. Either you can become bitter and hold grudges, or you can learn from things and let them take you down a new, more positive road.

I'm ready for the ride that is life, with no more allowances for negative things and people in my life. And if they do slip in? Well, I'm ready for those lessons/blessings, too.

Letter Writing Challenge Intro and Letter #1

I found that I often have a lot of things I want to say to someone way after I have the chance to. 20/20 hindsight and all that. So, I found a letter writing challenge post online and decided that I'm going to do it here publicly on my blog. I'm not going to do every single day of the letters, because many of them don't apply to my life, but I will write a majority of them.

Letter #1a:

Dear X,

I've never known quite what to say to you and quite how to say it, which is often how I felt during our relationship. (It always made me laugh because writers are always supposed to have the "right words.") But I guess the first thing to say is thank you. I feel like out of all the different relationships I've had (of different sorts) with guys, ours was the most positive learning experience for me.

Although the end wasn't perfect, the relationship we did have was so wonderful that it taught me a lot of what I'm looking for in a significant other. The qualities you possessed and the way you treated me showed me how much I deserve and how nice it feels to have that. Our relationship is the only one I can talk fondly about and (at this point) without much hurt. I sincerely think that you helped me to regain a lot of sanity in relationships in general and your playful, kind attitude and how much care you showed for me was sincere and wonderful.

It always hurts to have a relationship end, whether it's your choice, someone else's choice, a mutual choice, or any mix of the above; especially unexpectedly. But I don't hold on to any distasteful feelings for the end; I remember the time fondly and hope that I always do. If we're being honest here, the way we broke up hurt. And it hurt for a while. I know I wasn't the only one who was hurt by it, but I definitely look back at our time together in a sad/happy way. Happy I had the chance to be with someone like you, but sad it ended the way it did, unexpectedly and too soon. I can only hope for your happiness and that I was as kind to you as I thought I was and that you enjoyed our time as much as it seemed.

So again, thank you. Thank you for being a good boyfriend and showing me good guys exist.

Daisy

Hiding

We hide tears with scarlet paint

Pretending just to save face

It's gone like the wind

And everything feels displaced

Forever loses its meaning

Facades are like new cars

Mismanaged habits

You hone your skills in bars

Overlapping feelings

Climbing up the walls

Trying to learn new tricks

While attempting not to fall

Repeating words we hear on tv

You see relationships as threats

Forgetting we're heartless

Sometimes I forget to forget