Showing posts with label raising kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label raising kids. Show all posts

Friday, February 3, 2012

Things I Ponder - Getting Older

Last Tuesday was my birthday and I started to think about age related things, and how getting older affects us all. Everyone has their own way of celebrating or "dealing with" their birthdays, (depending on how old they are turning) but most of all, we all notice the emotional and mental changes we experience as we get older. There's this internal drive or push to do certain things and be accomplished in different areas that clicks in as we reach certain milestones in our years.

Sometimes I start to wonder if we're restricted or enhanced by being so obsessed with age and each anniversary that we reach (whether we like it or not). Everything seems to be so date conscious; we base so many decisions and pass judgement on age. Another question would be is if these decisions and judgement are justified? Are we qualified to pass a judgement on someone and decide if they are worthy or unworthy of something simply based on how old they are?

We have these goals that almost seem like limitations: go to college and get a degree, get a fantastic, well-paying job by this age, fall in love by that age, be married by this age, have kids by that age, etc. The list seems endless. We have to accomplish all these certain things at these certain times and people judge us based on whether or not we have reached these goals at the right time.

If we reach our goals too soon, we can be judged for that too. One who has done this or that at an age perceived as "too young" is said to have "grown up too fast" or even been corrupted. Many laws are also based on age, such as when one can drive, live on their own, serve their country, buy and smoke cigarettes, buy and consume alcohol, among many others.

It came down to this intriguing question for me:

Would we be better off without these age limits and goals; would we get along better without them or would we fail miserably?

More on this later. Feel free to comment...I'd love to know what others think about this and how you would answer the question!

Friday, November 11, 2011

The Media Has Done WHAT to My Child?!

There has always been quite a bit of controversy on the subject of the media (incl. but not limited to magazines, television, movies, commercials, internet, radio, billboards, and even some video games) and the influence that it has on individuals, especially young ones. Advertising is in everything we see and everywhere we go, it is often influencing us when we don't even realize it.

As times get more modernized and technology gets more advanced, children are growing up in environments which are heavily influenced by the media and the ideals which are being portrayed nearly everywhere you look. Children who were being raised a century ago, or even fifty years ago, had very different influences growing up.

I asked a few questions on the subject of Professor Hugo Schwyzer (who in addition to being a professor, is an author and speaker, specializing in and writing about history and gender studies) via email. He had quite a lot of good points to make, which lead me to believe that my own concepts on the subject may not be far off!

Personally, I believe that the media does have a sense of responsibility to avoid delivering potentially dangerous messages, especially in the realm of body image, violence, and underage sex, drinking, and drugs. More so, it is important that there is an effort made to deliver certain positive messages, rather than just avoiding the negative messages.

Schwyzer pointed out, which I agree with, that censorship is certainly not the answer, but that the focus should be less on "cleaning up the internet" and more so on "giving young people something to look at that's healthy and engaging." This really hits home with the idea of delivering positive messages in lieu of simply attempting to eradicate the negativity. There will always be sources of negativity and I feel like we have to not only compensate with positivity, but teach and show our kids--and even our friends how to avoid being a sponge for the things that they read or see on a daily basis. It is important that we learn how to accurately filter the important and accurate pieces of information, opinions, and facts from the bits and pieces we absorb.

I've read many different studies on the effects on children who watch violent television and movies or play violent video games growing up. The amount of time spent seems like it would affect the outcome of these violent images as much as, if not more than, what they are seeing. As Schwyzer mentioned, how much time they are focusing on these activities is the biggest problem. Of course, everything is on a case-by-case basis, considering that many children were raised without violence in their households and turn into violent adults, while other children who were raised on violent movies, video games and television turn out to be quite passive individuals. In general, I think it's safe to say that it's a good idea to try to get your children and teenagers involved and interested in more productive and less potentially destructive hobbies and activities.

From personal experience and my observations of others, I feel it's safe to say that there is definite damages done to children and teenager by way of dangerous messages through the media. It seems to be a recurring thought in both my mind and the mind of Hugo Schwyzer that the possible damage reversal could be made possible with counter-images and stories. Along the same lines as delivering positive messages instead of just attempting to discourage negative messages, it is important to fill young minds with positive images and ideals so that they can see the "other" side of things. As Schwyzer said when discussing the dangerous messages of the media and their effect on teenagers, is that that's exactly what the Healthy is the New Skinny movement is going for: "changing what people see as hot, as sexy, as desirable".

It's also incredibly important to have actual discussions with young people about what they see and observe; what it means to them and how it impacts them. In order to truly find out how they are being affected by various images and messages, one must ask various questions and give them the opportunity to speak their mind and ask their own questions.

(Big thanks to Hugo Schwyzer for his input. He's a great author and quite a writer himself, so if you are interested in reading about him or reading his own blog(s), check him out @ http://www.hugoschwyzer.net) If you're interested in reading more about Healthy is the New Skinny, which I barely touched upon, but plan to write much more about at a later time, you can view the site at http://healthyisthenewskinny.com

This is my first post on my new blog here! Expect to see more on this and other related subjects soon!

- D.M.