Concerns

I’m drowning in a pool of nothing
Forcing myself to toughen up
This plan isn’t working out like I’d hoped
It didn’t happen like you said it would
With your fake smiles and consoling words
I didn’t need sympathy, I needed reality
Why can’t people be honest anymore?
It’s like it seems easier to keep up with your lies
Than to just tell the truth 
And so here I am I’m not heartbroken 
I know you want me to feel like 
I’ve given up something real 
But the truth is all you are is a disappointment, a step I’m glad to be done with 
A bitter taste in my mouth 
Spit that stains the concrete 
Sighs of relief when I can finally leave this wretched place 
And feel empty again

Second Chance

So talking is a waste of time

Another chance for another line

Just one more opportunity to lie

Promises that will never be obliged

Complications that never arise

Alibis that she always buys

Listening to stories that never end

Something I would learn to apprehend

We all wait for the apology we'll never hear

So much easier just to disappear

I'd do it all over if I had the chance

Never looked back or took that second glance

Hiding

We hide tears with scarlet paint

Pretending just to save face

It's gone like the wind

And everything feels displaced

Forever loses its meaning

Facades are like new cars

Mismanaged habits

You hone your skills in bars

Overlapping feelings

Climbing up the walls

Trying to learn new tricks

While attempting not to fall

Repeating words we hear on tv

You see relationships as threats

Forgetting we're heartless

Sometimes I forget to forget

Things I Ponder - Getting Older

Last Tuesday was my birthday and I started to think about age related things, and how getting older affects us all. Everyone has their own way of celebrating or "dealing with" their birthdays, (depending on how old they are turning) but most of all, we all notice the emotional and mental changes we experience as we get older. There's this internal drive or push to do certain things and be accomplished in different areas that clicks in as we reach certain milestones in our years.

Sometimes I start to wonder if we're restricted or enhanced by being so obsessed with age and each anniversary that we reach (whether we like it or not). Everything seems to be so date conscious; we base so many decisions and pass judgement on age. Another question would be is if these decisions and judgement are justified? Are we qualified to pass a judgement on someone and decide if they are worthy or unworthy of something simply based on how old they are?

We have these goals that almost seem like limitations: go to college and get a degree, get a fantastic, well-paying job by this age, fall in love by that age, be married by this age, have kids by that age, etc. The list seems endless. We have to accomplish all these certain things at these certain times and people judge us based on whether or not we have reached these goals at the right time.

If we reach our goals too soon, we can be judged for that too. One who has done this or that at an age perceived as "too young" is said to have "grown up too fast" or even been corrupted. Many laws are also based on age, such as when one can drive, live on their own, serve their country, buy and smoke cigarettes, buy and consume alcohol, among many others.

It came down to this intriguing question for me:

Would we be better off without these age limits and goals; would we get along better without them or would we fail miserably?

More on this later. Feel free to comment...I'd love to know what others think about this and how you would answer the question!

2

Atypical behavior

Expecting a savior

Easily disappointed

Quickly disjointed

Rapid replies

Simple demise

Shallow breathing

Forever grieving

Intensely ashamed

Incorrectly blamed

Sorrowful glances

Empty romances

Jagged edges

Broken ledges

Foreign tongues

Empty lungs

Freezing

So fake, so cold

How bleak, how bold

Foreign languages we spoke

All the promises you broke

Every lie recited

And each cell ignited

Your lingering gaze

The always burning blaze

My never ending trek

To avoid an inevitable wreck

So oblivious; eyes closed

How hilarious; so composed

Indescribable

On the outside

There's a smile

Nothing to hide

At least for a while

It's easy to act nonchalant

Sure you're just fine

What is it we truly want

Alone, waiting for things to align

Because now the truth is clear

We're all searching for something real

Someone to protect us from what we fear

A place we don't have to pretend not to feel

Casually we breathe

Searching far and wide

Inside we secretly seethe

Wishing we had never lied

While it's me you haunt

I'm listening to the perfect cadence

More than simply what I want

Perfectly imperfect and shameless