Thursday, December 29, 2011


I could walk for hours just because
And sometimes the freeway off ramp
Appeals to me for some midnight walking
But something tells me that the late-night patrol officers
Would possibly consider that a suicide attempt
"But officers," I'd say, "I'm a happy girl"
Got a whole lot going for me
A big world to see
My whole life ahead of me"
"Dear girl," they'd say, "it's never the sad ones."
And we'd share this sad moment together
Not quite sure of what else there was to say
Because I knew they were right
Truth is, I'd never even consider that idea
It was just that walking against traffic was always this taboo
And in the moment, in the moonlit midnight of my neighborhood
I just wanted to see what it felt like to be free

Monday, December 5, 2011


Why don't I miss you
When you're so far away
The lies come out so fluently
I'm barely keeping up

I swear I'm not pretending
Shivering as you linger
Fingertips gliding
My world keeps on sliding

Inside out, upside down
How you manage to get me all turned around
Sweaty collisions
Careful incisions

Definitely nothing to do with booze
I promise this wasn't a ruse
And my bed is this constant reminder
As if this all wasn't hard enough

Pretending I don't give a fuck
Nothing ever seemed so difficult as this
Acting like nothing ever mattered
And you're certainly not shattered

Cliche statements resounding
This is apparently what I'm supposed to do
But I know that booze and boys
Won't get you out of my mind

Friday, December 2, 2011

Tick Tock

A stolen kiss
Lips upturned
My heart unburdened

And as I breathe
The clock stops
My heart throbs
Unbelievably romantic
All of these go*damn semantics

This fire inside consumes me
I have no time for this
Any methods of escape
I promise this I won't regret
Despite the unacceptable behavior

Promise you won't console me
I'd rather breathe on my own
Conspicuously bright
I swear I'll be alright
Knowing how to get back up

Prefer to see it all
Than to pretend I'm blind
I'd rather communicate
Without any words
Than to constantly just talk

The hell with average
I'd like to see it all
Every part of life
Intriguing and deceiving
I promise I'll survive

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Oh Internet

I don't really know who's reading my blog regularly and if any of them are my real-life friends or just browsers of the internet, but if you're my Facebook friend, you've likely noticed my hiatus. This post is not directly related to that, but I thought I'd mention it.

I don't really believe in complaining about something like social media websites that you can just delete or quit at any moment, but one thing that really does bother me is the "people you may know" section. Normally, I just ignore it. If I want to add someone, I look for them, and if someone wants to find me, they search me and send me a request. I don't really ever remember adding someone from that section.

The real point, however, is that there was someone in the "people you may know" section who I really would be okay with never hearing about or seeing for the rest of my life. I never realized how triggering it could be to see someone so vile and evil (hey, look at that! the same 4 letters rearranged!), not only suggested to be added to my friends list, but also to see the fact that we have 14 friends in common...

No thank you. I would not like to be friends with that person, but thanks for ruining my day, Facebook! Lots of love to you, too! HA.

Monday, November 28, 2011

The Stranger and The Transition

This is something that I wrote about the transition which exists between any two people who enter a relationship and end it, for whatever reasons, at whatever time. It's an odd phenomena and my friend and I had a conversation about it which gave me some insight and an ability to put the phenomena in actual words.

From strangers to more to strangers again~~


Two people who start out as nothing
Basically strangers
You could practically see each other on the street
And have only a flickering, or a glimpse of recognition
No memories or associations
Nothing to tie one to the other
Nothing to smile about or think about as you fall asleep
Then you become friends; someone to talk to and converse
Chatting, sharing thoughts and ideas
Laughing platonically
And so quickly you become more
The transition happens so fast
Sometimes the line blurs and you hardly notice
A happy haze
Suddenly you're lovers
Two people on the same wavelength
The most beautiful thing
At the right time or at the wrong time
Intimacies beyond just "close"
And then suddenly or maybe not so sudden
You're strangers again
But this time it's different than before
No longer can one say "You’re unrecognizable"
Because your breath may hitch in your throat
At the sight of their face
Someone who changed you
Or just impacted you
In one way or a thousand
Things are significant now
Memories loom in the air
And now you're familiar strangers
No longer able to pass them by like they don't exist

Friday, November 25, 2011

Whimsical Notions - Insouciance and the Like

People get way too serious about things and sometimes really quickly. A lot of people, men especially it seems, tend to be afraid or hesitant about getting into relationships because they either A) had an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend who was incredibly significant and serious about everything, making the relationship heavy; or B) they have friends who are way too serious about relationships and scare them off with the stories they like to share.

When I say insouciance, I don't mean to be flippant about your relationship or uncaring. Just... light. Enjoy, grow, progress, learn, and have fun. Be happy. When you're in a relationship with someone who you have a connection with - someone who you can really be with - the rest is easy to work out.

Life is very fleeting sometimes. Yes of course, most people live a very long time, die natural deaths, and have accomplished much. But there's many quotes which I like to think I apply to my life and take into account in the way I handle things and make me be less careful and less serious.(This is not just meant to be taken about relationships, of course.)

Here's a quote I like a lot:

"Suddenly, you realize tomorrow might not come. Now I live by the motto, ‘Today is what I have.’”
- Amber Heard

Love openly and fully and enjoy everything you do and everyone you experience and have the pleasure of meeting and having in your life. Be cautious, but don't be too careful. You could die at any moment and I hope that you will live your life to the extent that you would be happy with what you have experienced, and who you have loved, and not have many things you wish you did or said when you go.

If you love someone - if you want to do something - if you're scared - go for it!!! :-)

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Switch

If it existed, I'd probably flip it off and leave it there for a while
Content with the silence
Passionately still and unfeeling
I swear in my head it all made sense
Eighteen and a light shade of jade
But I don't quite disbelieve
If we could just look up and see things for what they were
And let them disappear
Jotting down your thoughts like a form of therapy
Writing all over the sky like it will get you by
Pretending is your favorite art
Because if you felt what you faked
You'd be experiencing something real
Instead of wishing you could feel

Friday, November 18, 2011

"This Song is Not About You" - Not a Love Story (Really, it's not)

Feels like years and I've lost track of time
Who knows how long I've made you wait
Why do we miss the ones who hurt
It's as if we enjoy feeling lost
And I wanna tell you how much you've changed
But the truth is none of us are the same

And as I watch you dwindle
Afraid and confused
I try to tell myself it's not my fault
Did everything I could and got caught up
If this is what "done" feels like
You've still got my head in the game

Wondering what those words mean
I can't tell you where the end is
But I hope the light comes soon
Because fuck it, let's be honest
You were only in it for one thing
Got lost in yourself and gone for a while

Thursday, November 17, 2011

My Thoughts on "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley

I personally believe that the primary theme of Brave New World is control and the use of control for the purpose of degradation and destruction of social values. Humans aren’t born to parents and do not have families, instead they are grown in bottles and brainwashed, a.k.a conditioned, in order to ensure that they believe certain “truths”, or to have certain moral “values”. This is done by way of “sleep-teaching”, and instructs these humans to not value their individualism, but the value of a society.

Every person exists to have a job and love it, to purchase lots of things like clothing, use transportation often, depend on other people and things, and serve their community. Humans are divided into social classes to make this system work more efficiently, from the Alphas at the top, to the Epsilons at the bottom. Alphas are smart and handsome, while Epsilons are ugly and stupid. They even go as far as using oxygen deprivation and lethal substances to ensure that non-Alphas stay stupid—while they grow them in the test tubes. All Epsilons are exact replicas of each other, grown in large batches.

Everything, even the apparently positive ways of life, is a way to control and take away identity and personal values from these “individuals”. The rampant promiscuity and lack of romance or relationships, wherein they actually insult or make fun of one for “having” the same partner for an extended period of time, and even refer to mating as such: “having” another person. A specific example of this is a conversation between Lenina and Fanny, where Lenina tells Fanny, “Somehow, I hadn’t been feeling very keen on promiscuity lately. There are times when one doesn’t. Haven’t you found that too, Fanny?” Fanny replies, “But one’s got to make the effort, one’s got to play the game. After all, every one belongs to every one else.” There is no procreation through sex, as contraceptives are forced upon one. No one is allowed to make a significant choice for themselves. Additionally, the frequent use of drugs, flippant attitudes towards life, and narrow-minded views all are signs of the control that is had over these people.

The drug called “soma” is used as an escape from problems. It is not only legal, but given out eagerly and encouraged to be taken for any reason. They don’t particularly need an excuse (as you might in the real world, to use drugs or alcohol to get away from your problems) to use soma, they just encourage each other to take it at any low moment. An example of this is as follows, where Marx is very upset and speaking with Henry Foster, who says “What you need is a gramme of soma,” and when he refuses, Foster insists that he takes it, saying, “Take a holiday from reality whenever you like, and come back without so much as a headache or a mythology.”

For me, the setting of the book was eerie and disturbing, which I believe was the mood Huxley was trying to create. When I first started reading the book, I wasn’t moved at all, but as I continued, a sense of fear and even a loss of hope for the world were instilled in me. The picture he painted many years ago when he wrote the book is not unlike what the world is slowly becoming. Science and cloning aside, there are a lot of general aspects to the way that the people live their lives in Brave New World that could be looming in our future if we do not change our ways as well as break free from the insane control the government tries to have or has over us as a country. The lack of diversity, individuality, love, monogamy, and ability to think for one’s self depicted in this book is not an unreal fantasy from our culture and society in present time.

Friday, November 11, 2011

The Media Has Done WHAT to My Child?!

There has always been quite a bit of controversy on the subject of the media (incl. but not limited to magazines, television, movies, commercials, internet, radio, billboards, and even some video games) and the influence that it has on individuals, especially young ones. Advertising is in everything we see and everywhere we go, it is often influencing us when we don't even realize it.

As times get more modernized and technology gets more advanced, children are growing up in environments which are heavily influenced by the media and the ideals which are being portrayed nearly everywhere you look. Children who were being raised a century ago, or even fifty years ago, had very different influences growing up.

I asked a few questions on the subject of Professor Hugo Schwyzer (who in addition to being a professor, is an author and speaker, specializing in and writing about history and gender studies) via email. He had quite a lot of good points to make, which lead me to believe that my own concepts on the subject may not be far off!

Personally, I believe that the media does have a sense of responsibility to avoid delivering potentially dangerous messages, especially in the realm of body image, violence, and underage sex, drinking, and drugs. More so, it is important that there is an effort made to deliver certain positive messages, rather than just avoiding the negative messages.

Schwyzer pointed out, which I agree with, that censorship is certainly not the answer, but that the focus should be less on "cleaning up the internet" and more so on "giving young people something to look at that's healthy and engaging." This really hits home with the idea of delivering positive messages in lieu of simply attempting to eradicate the negativity. There will always be sources of negativity and I feel like we have to not only compensate with positivity, but teach and show our kids--and even our friends how to avoid being a sponge for the things that they read or see on a daily basis. It is important that we learn how to accurately filter the important and accurate pieces of information, opinions, and facts from the bits and pieces we absorb.

I've read many different studies on the effects on children who watch violent television and movies or play violent video games growing up. The amount of time spent seems like it would affect the outcome of these violent images as much as, if not more than, what they are seeing. As Schwyzer mentioned, how much time they are focusing on these activities is the biggest problem. Of course, everything is on a case-by-case basis, considering that many children were raised without violence in their households and turn into violent adults, while other children who were raised on violent movies, video games and television turn out to be quite passive individuals. In general, I think it's safe to say that it's a good idea to try to get your children and teenagers involved and interested in more productive and less potentially destructive hobbies and activities.

From personal experience and my observations of others, I feel it's safe to say that there is definite damages done to children and teenager by way of dangerous messages through the media. It seems to be a recurring thought in both my mind and the mind of Hugo Schwyzer that the possible damage reversal could be made possible with counter-images and stories. Along the same lines as delivering positive messages instead of just attempting to discourage negative messages, it is important to fill young minds with positive images and ideals so that they can see the "other" side of things. As Schwyzer said when discussing the dangerous messages of the media and their effect on teenagers, is that that's exactly what the Healthy is the New Skinny movement is going for: "changing what people see as hot, as sexy, as desirable".

It's also incredibly important to have actual discussions with young people about what they see and observe; what it means to them and how it impacts them. In order to truly find out how they are being affected by various images and messages, one must ask various questions and give them the opportunity to speak their mind and ask their own questions.

(Big thanks to Hugo Schwyzer for his input. He's a great author and quite a writer himself, so if you are interested in reading about him or reading his own blog(s), check him out @ If you're interested in reading more about Healthy is the New Skinny, which I barely touched upon, but plan to write much more about at a later time, you can view the site at

This is my first post on my new blog here! Expect to see more on this and other related subjects soon!

- D.M.